The Power of Positive Thinking

Okay, listen. I know, okay? I know that title is overdone. But I didn't know what else to call this post and I already made the graphic, so I guess we both need to live with it? 

If we can both get past that phrase, let me tell you about what I mean. 

Many many many of the women I encounter in this work (is that most? I think so) have a lot of disclaimers, prologues, things they seem to feel they must announce before we start working together:

"Oh, I'm not musical"

"I don't know anything about this stuff"

"I can't sing"

"I converted, I don't know much" 

"I grew up orthodox so I was never allowed to do any of this so I have no idea what I'm doing" 

To that last one I always interrupt with, "me too!" Because it's true. I grew up at an orthodox synagogue and I was not allowed to go anywhere near the Torah, let alone read or chant from it. 

Oh, how the times have changed! There are now so many wonderful, halachic, Jewish opportunities and environments in which women can finally make their way to a bima and, if they dare, even chant from the Torah. What a wonderful world we get to live in. But in these environments, a woman gets the op-torah-tunity she's been looking for as it plops right down into her lap, and she has zero experience or understanding, and 1 million intimidations. And a lot of women tend to shy away!  

So how do we bridge the gap?

Enter: me! Sabrina Friedman, The Jewla (this is a play on the word "Doula", read more here)

And I'm here to tell you that you don't need those disclaimers. 

You get to start your Torah chanting journey from wherever you are at. Right there, that's where you are. 

You don't need to prove anything to anyone. All you need to do is start. 

Self-talk is so powerful. So much so that it's a main tenet used in sports psychology. 

"Educational sports psychologists use techniques like goal-setting, imagery, or self-talk to help clients manage their mental and psychological thought processes to perform optimally on the field"

All of those disclaimers that so many women start with, are stories. Usually (almost always, I'd wager) they are stories that are based on a lie that was told to us by someone important in our lives, once upon a time, when our brains were young, vulnerable or impressionable. The lie gets repeated in our heads, and becomes one of our stories.

By working on the stories we tell ourselves, and by replacing them with new stories, we can slowly weed out the original lie. 

Perfect example that I hear the most: "I can't sing" 

I don't believe it! I truly think everyone can sing. Human beings are born to sing. 

Maybe the story represents the fear you feel about embarking on your chanting journey? 

If that's the case, I encourage you to think about what phrases can you tell yourself to self-soothe and help yourself feel a little braver? 

Some suggestions/examples, from the amazing mindset queen Kate O'Connor, which you are free and encouraged to use on your Torah chanting journey:

• Every new skill takes practice
• Everyone has to start somewhere 
• Practice makes better
• Maybe I can

What are some other phrases and affirmations that could work for you along your Torah chanting journey?