It's all about the Bubbies

Photo: Richard Lautens

I know I'm doing a great job because the Bubbies always say so. 

It's a feeling I struggle to describe, but time and time again, I beam from ear to ear when my students' Bubbie/Nana/Savta/Grama grab my arm and pull me aside after the service is over. 

"Listen, you've done a phenomenal job with [insert name of grandchild here]" 

I chuckle, holding up my thumb and pointer in the symbol for tiny. "Well, they did a little bit, too" (that's my go-to deflection joke...thank you, thank you, hold your applause) 

"I'm serious! We are so proud of [grandchild]. We can't believe what they've been able to accomplish. And we know it's because of you. We've been hearing about you for months! It's such a great thing you do. These kids are so lucky to have you" 

It's so heartfelt but I can't help but laugh! It's like they all got together in their underground Bubbie whisper network to make sure one of them is always there, waiting in the wings to make me feel amazing about my work and accomplishments. How do they all have the same script memorized?? 

Heck, even my own mother, Bubbie to TEN repeats a similar script a few times a year when reflecting on my work as a b mitzvah tutor. 

As Elphaba and Galinda say, "what is this feeling?" 

It's not nachas, that's what nana's feeling. So what's the word for reverse nachas?  

To be honest, it's such a huge point of pride for me, truly, this inevitable moment with savta. I get a little choked-up thinking about it as I write this. They really really mean it. And it gets me right in the feels.  

Another student mitzvah'd, another bubby nachas'd.

What the bubies don't know, is that they themselves have actually also helped me toward my goal of getting more women comfy on the bima. When I'm up there with them, at the rehearsal or at the real thing, helping them put on their talit (most are talit first-timers!) whisper-singing the aliyah blessing along (most are aliyah blessing first-timers, too!), smiling and encouraging them, placing my hand on theirs if they're extra-nervous, I know the connection to me helps ground those bubbies and makes it feel possible. They can stay in the moment schepping nachas from their grandkid, and I can smile knowing I've worked in service of their bima moment, too.

So even though they may not be my students (though some inevitably do enroll!), being the bubies's steadfast bima-support-woman is one of my favourite parts of the job. It's all about the bubbies.